Sometimes we don’t know why we do things. Reasons come to us later, mother of pearl after the fact, in flecks. Unrelated to whatever is at hand or afoot. Collect enough flecks and you might be able to put together a few words. Unforgiving. Unforgetful. Understanding. And these will lead to meaning, which we’ll have to explain, or carve out to fit our lives with, retrofit our lives with, probably with more words. Sometimes it’s nice to know the reasons. Pearl inlay. Other times it’s less pleasant. Tile grout. But reasons can be useful, especially when standing up to look life in the eye when it decides to hand you things you never asked for. You’ll be stronger that way. Like the lady in the film when she says no, firmly, and then walks away without looking back. It’s an old film and there is much dignity to be upheld. That’s the way old films are.
These are some of the things you might think about riding the ferry home at night and watching the squid fishing lights in the distance. Slow light, low in high humidity.